How appropriate that Emma was born on the first day of summer? She is my sunshine, my warmth, my contentment. Almost five years ago, Emma came into my world and changed it. She made me a mom. Being the first, she has suffered through all of my first-time mom mistakes with grace. She has forgiven me for every misstep I have taken and let her light shine through to let me know that those missteps do not define my motherhood. My motherhood is defined by these three wonderful creatures that have dug a place into my heart that I did not know existed. With them in my life, my life is extraordinary. She is extraordinary in a world that seems so ordinary without her. She is not only my daughter, she is my heart and my hope – maybe because she’s my first, maybe because she’s my only girl, maybe just because she’s Emma.
The sheer pleasure she took in this skirt was extraordinary. I braced myself for this session with her. Most of the time, taking pictures of my kids is nothing short of a one-way ticket to the looney bin. But she was so excited about it that it really took me by surprise. I know she cherishes time with just Mom. And I know she loves her skirt (thanks again, MOM). But I thought for sure that once we got out there, she would get tired or just have her own idea of what to do. And she definitely had her own ideas, but somehow we seamlessly worked together and got the best photos of her that I’ve ever taken (and there have been lots).
It is so important to me that as she grows older, that we remain friends. I will always be her parent, but there is something so much more to our relationship. She laughs with me just because I’m laughing. And she cries with me simply because I’m crying. That’s not just a daughter – that’s an angel, my angel.
I watch her with people, with little kids, with anyone – and you know what makes her the happiest? To see others happy. I used to think that she didn’t have an identity because she depended on others reactions to form her own. But now I think that I’m the one that had it all wrong to begin with. She doesn’t have the identity that I do or that other kids do – she has one that is so much more humble and loving than anything I could have imagined.
If I could freeze time, I would have stopped yesterday evening and held onto it forever.
